I found this article in one of the messages at the friendster’s bulletin board. I smiled and I agree with the contents. Tang tiba part mkn tu. aku hangin sikit. hangin-hangin pun aku setuju la mmg ada part yg mahal kat jb. aku rasa dia pergi mkn kat Hyatt la. sape suruh? bodoh!
Moving/Staying in JB? Read this 1st
Are you very sure you want to come to JB? If you must come, bring along bulletproof vests and pitbull dog (or fierce looking wife…).
According to police statistics, Taman Sentosa has the highest occurence of break-ins for Johor Bahru. So if you are moonlighting as a burglar, then Taman Sentosa is for you. You can work from home. Even if you are not moonlighting as one, it become a necessity in the near future as the high cost of living in JB takes its toll.
Don’t worry about Kem Majidee. The soldiers have become extinct already, not having fought in a proper war for almost 60 years. Many of them have taken up growing egetables and such within the Kem compound. I thought I saw a golf ball whizzing by as I drove past the Kem last week. The Sekolah Angkatan Tentera which their children attend has a swimming pool in the premises. Yep, very spartan. That school is located in a “remote” part of JB – directly behind Holiday Plaza/Mutiara Hotel. Another instance of taxpayer’s money being put to good use.
The roads in JB are the best in the region – i.e. for testing your car’s suspension.
They are kept in tip top “testing” condition by JKR, Maxis, Telekom, Syarikat Air Johor and the Lorry Owners Association. The layout of the roads have been meticulously planned out. The architects have invented an ingenious labyrinth of roads that ensure that you cannot get from point A to point B anwhere without first taking a detour to C and making a u-turn at not D but E. If you try to u-turn
at D you will be greeted by the ubiquitous policeman on his Honda Cup who will ask to see your driver’s license and proceed to scribble particulars on pieces of paper (never in the summons book); taking just enough time for you to whip up a ten ringgit bill or two. Here’s a survival tip for you should you ever get carjacked at knifepoint in JB – make a u-turn at any junction that has a “no u-turn” sign. For that matter, you can try the same trick for those ocassions when you cannot find a
policeman when you need one.
In JB, traffic jams attract schools. That’s why so many schools are built around massive traffic jams. This is an integral part of JB town planning. The JB causeway is built around the mother-of-all-=traffic-jams. This is in keeping with it’s image as the Southern Gateway to West Malaysia. Hey, when you visit Disneyland it’s packed as hell isn’t it?
Incidentally, the illegal u-turn trick also works on the road leading right up to the causeway. It helps if your car has a Singapore registered plate – the policemen make their appearance faster, almost instantly.
The right way to drive a Singapore registered car in JB is – don’t drive it! The Singapore plate makes you an instant target for everything from drive-by-shooting to road rage to dishonest durian sellers with rigged weighing scales. You will also be tailed relentlessly by the ubiquitous policeman on his Honda Cup who will “pretend to summon” you for every conceivable offence. God help you if you so much as fart in your car!
The good news is there many many eating places in JB. The bad news is that
the food is not edible for normal humans. It is only meant for desparate ones.
The good news also is that JB has a phlethora of hypermarkets and supernarkets. The bad news is that with the high cost of living, the only ones who can afford to shop are the policemen on their Honda Cups.
Hope the above info useful to you and everyone else crazy enough to want to move to JB. Eh, you wouldn’t happen to be a policeman, would you?
I believe the writer is a takde-ong-punya-org. Kena saman, salah jln, kena tekan habis masa makan, salah beli barang, beli mknn basi, lalu construction site, salah hantar anak pergi sekolah. he mentioned about majidee, nak salahkan askar jadi farmer? yg dia tak tau kat situ la mkn murtabak sedap, tebal, dan murah. sekolah angkatan tentera? sekolah tu under kementerian pertahanan and most of the expenses parents diorg bayar sendiri. ehemmm nak herdik kena selidik.
The JB causeway is built around the mother-of-all-=traffic-jams hmmm ni lagi bodoh bangsat. mother-of-all-traffic-jams wujud dulu ke, causeway dulu yg dibina? confirm ni tak belajar sejarah, org sebelah sana la tu. dia tak tahu agaknya CIQ besar nak mampus dah nak siap by the end of this year. confirm tak baca paper.
In JB, traffic jams attract schools. That’s why so many schools are built around massive traffic jams.. hah schools attract traffic jams ok? aku sure sgt dia ckp pasal English College, Sultan Ibrahim Girls School, Convent JB, SK Nong Chik bla bla yg kat JB town. almaklum tak belajar sejarah. Semua sekolah tu wujud zaman Inggeris. alaa..
lagi satu bukti dia sakit hati.. hahahahha
The right way to drive a Singapore registered car in JB is – don’t drive it
sekian terima kasih. aku tak yah ckp apa-apa, dah boleh kenal sape yg sangat bernasib malang itu bangsa dari negara mana. aku tak ckp, dia yg tulis. Hahahahahha..