Masa tau tu, x la sedih sgt. Sempat rasa pregnant for 2 weeks. Tu pun the 1st week adalah utk menerima berita terkejut. I didnt expect the menses i had during final week of Ramadhan was a sign of a pregnancy. Dah ‘period’ 3 minggu then I realized it is not right.
As soon as the bleeding stopped, I bravw myself for a urine pregnancy test. To my super surprise, it was positive!!!
It took a week for me to accept that I’m pregnant again when Aidan is just 1 year old. Mcm masa Adam. Cuma Aidan bf dgn begitu selamba tak picky eater lgsg lah ini budak.
Pnah satu hari (before aku tau aku pregnant), sambil tepuk2 perut dia ckp “mama, dlm ni ada baby”..
Little did I know it was true.
My BIL asked me to go to the gynae bcos I bleed continuously for 3 weeks, just to make clear tht everything is ok. He said, x semestinyan ada masalah.
Since I had a smooth sailing pregnancies with my prev two, so I thought, ok its nothing to worry about.
The checkup, gynae said, there’s nadi but he could not see it as heartbeat. He himself was unsure. So, wait for a week, if there’s no growth, so the baby is gone.
But that weekend I had a heavy bleeding where I had to change my pad 3 times! I went straight to gynae office on Monday. Gile laaa ramai org ponteng keje on Monday!! Nak elak Monday blues kott?? Lebih blues di situ!! Aku sampai kul 10, managed to see the doc at 4.30pm!!! Arghhhhhhh stress betul. Dh la panic ni bleeding!
Ok. The scan showed the sarung pun dah x se-clear last week. Not even growth. He made an arrangement for D&C that Monday evening. But I requested for the next morning. Ajek wasnt there. And I felt to so tired of waiting.
Another thing is to minimise the bill. Haha.. No medical coverage lah kan. So jimat2 la mana bole :p
Frankly speaking, I felt nothing when doctor informed me the bad news. I was tired. I had expected it too. Heavy bleeding with some clots. I didnt feel any pain, sikit2 x selesa perut adalah. Dgn sakit pinggang.
Tuesday morning, woke up early and kissed my boys. Sent them to k.nina, as usual.
The procedure went smoothly. No pain. I slept thru the process. I saw the gynae for only 2 mins when he asked me to selawat and shahadah. Terus tup tup sedar kat ward, feeling heavy, drowsy and bingung. Nurse philiphine dtg tanya how did i feel. Seb baik soalan simple yg x memerlukan aku digest bahasa dia. Haha
Smlm i started to think about the loss. I feel sad. The EDD was my birthday. I was pretty sure it could be a girl.